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I was assured by the desk attendant that the class was less active and more restorative than Yoga 1, so I walked in with confidence and left a sweaty puddle of positively charged burning the calories I needed to hit my goal, so at the end of the week I signed up for a free session at GO Cycle.

I think she checked in on me a bit extra, too, because my heart rate monitor wasn’t working properly.Though I had been warned of the quality under the previous regime, it had changed hands and was close to work, so I figured it a good place to start breaking a sweat.Despite bringing my pre-registered free pass, I was immediately directed to a membership associate who signed me up again and took me on a tour of the space.The locker room felt like that of an '80s high school PSA, complete with a dirty Band-Aid on the floor, sweaty unclaimed tube socks strewn about, and an open, curtainless shower area. It had a ton of sun coming in from skylights above and a beautiful view of Chicago’s west side, despite the fact that the other view was right into everyone running on treadmills.After a few laps I sunk into the double-sized coed hot tub next to a few older men and then a quick sit in the dry sauna where I noticed more chipped tile, peeling paint, and stains all over the walls.I caught on quickly and soon found myself struggling to stay hovered above my seat as we “climbed up our next hill.” I was lucky to never feel too warm as, in asking the host to place me at a bike near the back so to avoid imminent humiliation, I was assigned to a cycle situated in front of the emergency exit and next to a few fans.

It was a pleasant cross breeze that countered all my body’s efforts to sweat.With it being January, you are obligated to consider whether or not you will actually work out this year (it's worth it, right? After finally running out of private pools where my face was welcome, I needed a new way to stay fit.So like many before me, I took to the Internet in search of a cheap gym membership.The “team” was about as connected to each other as a set of Jenga blocks in the back of a pickup truck.The workout was full-bodied, consisting of half weights and rowing and half treadmill sprints.I had impressed myself by the end of class and was feeling good when the second round of sales pitches landed.

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