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While a dating partner may not welcome this news, it at least can minimize later disappointments.
"Especially among older people who went through the sexual revolution, with maturity they realize there are emotional consequences for getting involved in a sexual relationship," says Allen, author of Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.While you can't apply a one-size-fits-all response to sexual dating rules regardless of age or experience, professionals who have studied the topic say it is a good idea to develop a set of prudent dating rules - before the big date.By and large, Allen and other relationship experts endorse a cautious approach to the dating rules of sex. It means throwing the football down the field, AKA the passing game or driving the golf ball toward the green. There are articles about playing the long game in the arenas of sex, dating, creativity, business strategy, education, and financial planning. It is even in the title of the new autobiography by Sen. The Urban Dictionary says the long game is having a long term plan, long term goals, or doing things now that set you up for the future.And, since long term planning and investing for the future are not new concepts, it seems to be a new way of saying old things. First, I think today's hyper-fast paced, what feels good now, world makes us feel pressured and stressed.
We get caught up in the daily demands that ultimately make us miserable.
"Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.
Mc Clary believes all daters should invest the same amount of time conducting these 'self' conversations about personal dating rules as they do primping before a big date.
"My advice is this: wait as long as you can," Allen says.
Her rationale for these dating rules may seem obvious, but many people tend to forget in the heat of the moment.
"It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other's character traits" says Susanne Alexander, a relationship coach and author of Can We Dance? "Some couples then slide into engagement and marriage only to discover they have missed seeing major aspects of each other." While not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship, couples do owe it to themselves to talk about where they see their relationship going and how sex might change the relationship -- before they get in bed together. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment; the man may not see it that way," Allen tells Web MD.